Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
