I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
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