I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
