Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Still dying that you shit outside
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
