he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
