Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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