I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
