I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize