We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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