A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I see more hoeing in ur future
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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