That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
