hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
