when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize