some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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