I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
