I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
