If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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