His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
