I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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