Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize