Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize