Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize