Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
