You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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