You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize