You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax