Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!