I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
theres a video...