he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.