idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
