So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
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I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
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I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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