hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
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Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
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The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Life without a bra equals bliss.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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