You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
