My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
