So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
