I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
