Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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