So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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