What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
3 2 1 whiskey
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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