I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
