You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
