In the future we'll all be gay
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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