The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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