I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
