who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
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My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize