i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
