I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
