I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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