i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I currently don't understand fingers.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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