Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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