i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize