Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
