carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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