Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
