My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
