Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
