Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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