even my farts smell like vagina
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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