I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Randomize
