We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
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