I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
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Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
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I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize