one word: firstdatebathroomanal
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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