Can i not drive my cunt home
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
