after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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