these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
