I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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