she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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