watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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