yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
