Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just high enough for therapy.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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